17-year-old uncle raises his baby niece alone until her mom decides to take over, he accidentally reveals the truth to niece years later: ‘Your mom tried to give you away as a baby’

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    AITA For telling my Niece her mother tried to give her away as a baby?

    I (28 M) got into a huge argument with my sister (31 F) last week. The argument had been simmering for a long time, as tension between us has been high for years.
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    When I was 17 my sister had an accidental pregnancy, and when she told her boyfriend he left her. Due to our family she kept the baby, but once her daughter was born she panicked.
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    She didn't want to go through the legal troubles of adoption, so she asked that me and our mother took care of her kid. There was no legal custody, but it was an agreement made within the family.
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    I essentially raised my niece from birth until she was 3. With help from my mother, as she was working to support the new edition to the family. I dropped out of school and took care of her, fed her, changed her and taught her how to walk while my mom was away at work.
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    Then, my sister met her now husband, cleaned her life up and suddenly wanted her kid back. No warning, she moves back to home says thanks and starts being a mother.
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    My niece is now eleven and doesn't remember all I and her grandmother did. It's been a family agreement to forget this all happened until the argument.
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    My sister made a petty comment during a fight, where she implied since I lost my job recently I can't handle responsibility. I snapped and told her she was lucky her daughter was too young to remember how she abandoned her.
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    My niece overheard this, and now wants to know what I meant. I outright said that her mother didn't think she could raise her, and left her with me and grandma.
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    Now my sister says I tra atised her daughter, and my mom says I should have kept the secret like we agreed. I think this secret couldn't stay kept forever. Am I the a h le?
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    Edit: hello, I'm here to give some more context and answer a bunch of the most common questions. When the argument happened, I had put my niece to bed hours ago.
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    We were at my mothers house, and so no one knew she was going to come in. Secondly, after my niece. was born my sister moved states to get a job.
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    Also, she was 20 and I was 17. And finally, in the aftermath I said that we can't go back now since my niece already overheard us all talking, so as a group with her stepfather we should get together to explain it better.
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    But since the event (a week ago) my sister has been saying that we should blow over it and that my niece will forget if we don't bring it up again.
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    I'm frustrated at this, and at how she's now slating me alongside my mother. My mother believes I'm in the wrong for arguing with my sister in the first place,
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    whereas I say she has no right to criticise me for losing my job when I lost my education to caring for her child. I'm trying to get in contact with my nieces. stepfather to ask him for his opinion.
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    Edit 2: yes, I was asked by my mom. to drop out of school and I did so. I didn't go to college later. I had no intention of hurting my niece, but she had already overheard what was said so I felt that keeping it from her now would just cause her confusion.
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    I'm now trying to backpedal the best I can with the families assistance, to be able to properly explain the situation to her. But, my sister and my mother both want to just pretend this never happened and hope my niece forgets as she grows up.
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    Edit 3: I'm starting to wish I was clearer from the beginning. I said I was 17 when my sister "had" the accidental pregnancy. I meant that I was 17 when the baby was born.
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    Spare-Article-396 Your mom completely socks for allowing you to derail your own life for the sake of a 20 year old woman not wanting to step up. It's shameful.
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    You shouldn't have said what you said, but hoo boy, I can't even begin to understand the resentment you must feel. NTA. Make no mistake; it was an ah thing to do. But I'm giving you a pass.
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    Ancient Yak4019 NTA Firmly believe don't throw stones at someone who could ruin your entire life. She deserves it
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    Mr_Ariyeh Well she overheard you both. You didn't tell directly to your niece. And, please go back to schooling for yourself.
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    Last-Caterpillar-407 Secrets never stay that way. Especially secrets that should never have been.
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    NTA. Seems most here CANNOT grasp that YOU WERE A TEEN TOO and forced to drop out of school because of your sister's bad decisions. Why?
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    The AH in this scenario is your mother who did not parent and had YOU taking on the responsibility of parent when you were just a kid yourself.
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    Your sister is an AH too because it is not the child she is thinking about. It is herself. She feels guilt. Doesn't want to have to explain this to her child and would rather it be kept swept under a rug.

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